Hello? Is there anybody in there?
Sorry, I could simply write all the lyrics to the great Pink Floyd song and that would sum up my mind somewhat, but alas I guess I will fill you all in on what’s been going down. 2020 has been erm wonderfully sad? I mean is that enough to express this strange mental overwhelming life changing year. To be honest it’s not even over yet! Still everyday we see protests, pandemics, hurricanes, elections and shootings. It’s enough to make you design a rocket and take off to mars right?
But the wonderful bit I guess is forming new music friends, making the EP, learning to be alone in my own head without freaking the hell out! But still, it’s a struggle, still, I feel guilt and hurt from things that I guess I shouldn’t. You try and be a nice guy right? Help people out and be there for people but does anyone see that the more you do the more people lay it on you. There is a wonderful song by Guns N Rose’s that I will refer you too:
I’ve come to know the cold
I think of it as home
When there ain’t enough of me
To go around
I’d rather be left alone
That above my friends is why I have had to take some time away from live streams and such. It all just got too much. We finished the new album and I had to to just step back and try to recapture myself. It’s hard, I have huge manic mood swings and feel lost. I’ve never really felt at home in this world and this year has made it so much worse. I have always struggled to find a home, to feel content and this year and being alone for the most part of it made me realise the happiness i need isn’t here on this plain. My faith is my driving force in my life now and I know many will find my faith strange or not right with the current world we live in. But being a pagan has made me look forward to be happy to know I’ll be with my Gods one day and thats when i will be home.
Until that day I will learn as much from this crazy world as I can and make the best music I can. But I will remain a loner, I will remain in my own space and protect my energy. The darkness in 2020 can suck the light away! Don’t let that happen and protect you and your spirit.